1. If you ask, "You don't have this, do you?," we're tempted to say, "You're right, we don't."
2. Gently toss the shoe down to try it on. Please don't launch it from a height.
3. If you must grind your heel to get on the shoe, do it when we're not watching.
4. Ask your children to lick the mirrors out of the way of foot traffic.
5. Let us know if we should fire a starting gun, or your children are just sprinting for fun.
6. And let us know if you plan to yell, or tell, your excitement to others in your party.
7. Gather requests for us "to go look." Otherwise we'll just drink water and pretend.
8. You may only use the words "sale," "discount," and "coupon" a maximum of 10 times each.
9. No matter how many salespeople you ask, sometimes "No" really means "No."
10. You're allowed only three salespeople maximum to help you find a shoe you want.
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